“As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins…” Eph 2:1

When I look at the life I have in Jesus it is no doubt that satan wants to stop my forward

movement by filling my thoughts with “what if…” the “what ifs” of my past; what if I had made a different decision in 1998 or 2008 or 1972 or 1979. How different my life would have been. The images and thoughts are not ugly thoughts, they are not condemning thoughts. They make me want a “do-over”. They almost make me long for those days again. But do they really?

Then I read just a bit further to Eph 2:4 and I see… “But God…” But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much…

I have been so plagued these last few weeks by the craziest of thoughts. Thoughts of my past. Had I made this decision or perhaps not that decision… my life would be ______ … fill in the blank.

It’s as if satan is invading my mind, and my dreams, with nightmarish thoughts that stay in my head for days. These thoughts are causing doubt, confusion, sadness, tears, fear, worry, concern, anger, hostility.

Sure I can look back and wonder what might have been. We all can. But where does that take me? Of what benefit is it to wonder if I made the right decision at a particular time.

There will always be the questions of what if and what could have been; whether in reality or fantasy.

I can see now today what I have been able to see for the last couple weeks. What could have been is a fantasy world that has not ever, nor will it ever exist. All I have is right now.

All I have are my “But God” moments

“But God, because of His great love for us, God,
who is rich in mercy, made us alive in Christ
even when we were dead in our transgressions.” Eph 2:4

It is by grace that I have been saved. And because I have been saved I am a new creation.

“and all are justified freely by His grace
through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” Romans 3:24

“I am justified, set free in Christ.
I am marked as belonging to God through the Holy Spirit” Eph 1:4

Therefore I declare that I am a child of God, saved by the shed blood of His Son Jesus. The Holy Spirit lives in me and fills me with His fruits.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:22)
What I notice as I write these words the fruits listed here are the exact opposite of the behaviors and emotions I’ve been experiencing these last couple of weeks.

Right now I choose to live in the Now, not in the What If.

Lord, whatever you have planned for my NOW, Lord show me. I am your willing servant.

As for you satan, I recognize you and I rebuke the hold that you were attempting to get on my thoughts and emotions. In the name of Jesus I command you to release your influence of my conscious and unconscious thoughts. I pray in the name of Jesus that the fruits of the Holy Spirit become so abundant in my life that there is no question of who I belong to.

Lord I thank you for all of the amazing blessings in my life. And I thank you for my Right Now and my Still To Come.