Is it really okay for me to pray for myself Lord? Is that being selfish? It seems that I think about and pray for everyone I know, but I never seem to ask for help for myself… except for the occasional “Lord Help Me Now” exclamation.
I don’t know that I’ve really ever sat down and said to God… okay God… here’s me… and here’s what I need your help fixing. ( I would hope I wouldn’t be that blase’) I just feel like I get so wrapped up in everyone around me that I have such little time for me. I come from a large family and an even larger “framily”… add to that the in-laws and their framily and yes… you’ve got lots of people around. And with lots of people comes lots of crazy drama and lots of real issues.
And then there’s times that I get so wrapped up in “other thoughts”. Human thoughts… worldly thoughts… just pure real people thoughts. So how do I re-adjust my thinking? How do I re-adjust my perspective?
Luke 10:41-42 41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
I didn’t quite get this verse at first. I understand that story, but I didn’t get it until I focused in on the line “you are worried and upset about many things“. There it was… that’s me. Just too much in my life most all the time. I ALLOW so many things to get in the way. And when I get that overwhelmed feeling, the not so nice me comes out. I say that I ALLOW so many things, because I do. I really don’t need to get caught up in the drama. 99.99999% of the time, it has nothing to do with me or my life. Sadly, so many around here think that it has to be part of my life.
But then there it is, the next line. … but few things are needed—or indeed only one Mary has chosen what is better.
“Indeed only one“… there was only one thing that was needed at that time, and Mary chose it. She chose to sit at the feet of her Master and soak in His presence and His words. That is where I want to be. I want to sit in His presence. I want to spend my time in His presence and His word. I want to cultivate a heart of devotion. I want to stop all the busyness, the drama, the crazyness…. all that distracts me and just…. be in His presence. My time with Him should never be an after thought. It really should be my first thought.
I’ve found over the last few weeks, that there is a change going on in me. I don’t know what it is. But whatever it is, I like it. I don’t have a desire to vegitate in front of the televsion at night (please note that Mike works 2nd shift, so I am at home alone most every evening). I look forward to the evenings where I can spread out my books and bibles and my journal and just study and read and ponder His words. I love sitting on the patio now that the weather has cooled a bit and read His words. I have a thirst and a longing to know Him more. To learn what it is He has in mind for me. I’m looking forward to see what’s coming next.