People have asked me if God really speaks to people. My answer to that is yes… if we are quiet enough to hear Him, yes indeed He does. A few years ago, God did indeed speak to me. It was August 5, 2006. I woke up very early that morning, totally out of sorts. I had spent the days before getting ready for a 1200 mile road trip to New England to say goodbye to my oldest and dearest friend. Her husband had called to tell me that she didn’t have much longer. My heart was so heavy. I had know her since birth. When I say that I knew her since the playpen… that’s what it was. I had known her for 48 years, and now I was travelling to see her for what would be her last days here on this earth. Cancer had invaded her body and was about to win this earthly battle. She was soon to receive the Absolute Healing and go home to be with her Heavenly Father.
I woke up that morning and I was so sick. A paralyzing migraine had set in. This wasn’t one of my typical migraines. It was a full-blown, knock me to the ground blinding migraine. I sat on the couch and I began to cry. How was I going to drive 1200 miles alone when I hurt this bad. How could I call and tell her I wouldn’t be there. I prayed and I prayed… Lord, take this migraine away… I need to be on the road… I need to get started… I have to be there at her end… I need to say goodbye.
I closed my eyes and somewhere within me I heard… “I’ve taken you through this already. It’s time to cross the Jordan”. This wasn’t a loud booming voice, it was, as they say… a “still small voice”… deep in me. “I’ve taken you through this already…” With that, I knew what I had to do. I prayed, “God give me the words”, as I dialed the phone. I talked with her husband and told him that I just couldn’t do it. He said he understood and then he handed the telephone to Kathy. I tried to be upbeat. I knew that she was barely able to understand what I was saying. I told her that I loved her and if I could make it, I would. I know, I know… I lied to her. I couldn’t upset her, I hope that God will forgive that lie. I just knew that I couldn’t say goodbye to someone I loved so much… again. Three days later, in the early morning hours, I got the call that she had gone home.
So yes, God does speak to people. His words spoke into my heart on that early morning. In His wisdom, He knew that I wasn’t strong enough to make that trip. Did He give me the migraine? No, I don’t think so. (Though, He might have in order to get my attention, I can be quite stubborn sometime). No, I believe that at that time, the culmination of 8 months of craziness was coming to a head, until on this particular morning, it all came crashing down. You see, just 6 months earlier, I had held my dear husband as he took his last breath. I held him as Jesus came to take him to His Father. I will share more of those 8 weeks later.
So what about the “Jordan”? I didn’t quite know what He meant at that time, but what I did know is that, “It’s time to cross the Jordan” meant that my time of trails and tribulation was coming near it’s end. Crossing the Jordan, to me, meant that I was about to enter the Land of Milk and Honey! The Land Of Plenty! The Land of Provision!
It’s said that the Isrealites wandered in the desert for 40 years before they crossed into the Promised Land… the Land of Milk and Honey. It should have only taken about 11 days walking. By not keeping their eyes, and hearts, focused on God, they were caused to wander around and around and around that mountain until an entire generation had passed. The generation that heard God’s promise spoken to them, would never realize the promise.
Okay… so what now? Well that’s what I’m here to write about. To share the stories – the good and the bad – about the last 6 years first, then perhaps I will travel back and tell about my 40 year wander. They aren’t all pretty stories. Yes, there are some that are wonderful and amazing and will tell of the blessings I received. Some are sad. Some are full of hope. Some are just dreadful and some are just what they are. They are my stories.
Have I crossed the Jordan yet? Nope… not yet. But I think I can see the shore line!